That Pesky Question Of Fitness

Fitness is a painful subject for me just now.

At this stage in all the morass that is cancer treatment, I am not even certain what muscle tone is any longer.  That is how bad things are for me at the moment.

And it plagues me.  A lot.

But with five more radiation treatments to go (woo hoo! only 5 more!), the skin in and around the treatment area is angry, raw and beyond painful, which doesn't exactly lend itself to a fitness frenzy.  Moreover, I have no idea how long it is going to take all of this to heal, because none of the creams or usual skin treatments have done any good the last few weeks.  Because I keep getting irradiated, over and over again, while treatment is ongoing, my skin never really has a chance to heal, and thus stays incredibly angry.

All this to say, being completely unfit is driving me crazy.  But being able to do anything concrete about it is a far off prospect at the moment.

So, what's a girl to do?

The front end planning.  It's the only thing I can do.  Starting with menus for a few weeks of good, clean eating, and shopping lists for each of those weeks.  At least my body will be well fueled as it begins to heal, and I can work on portion sizes as well, right?

It's a start, anyway.

What I'm more uncertain about is how to work fitness back into the mix in a more regular way.  At a point when I can barely stand to wear clothes over my sore spots, the thought of straining with weights or pushing myself to do intervals with my cardio is unbearable right now.

So I'm trying to figure out a more gentle way to begin to tone up again, in a way that allows me to continue to heal but still moves me forward instead of continuing my spiral toward flabby and blah. 

We got an UP Band for me recently, so that I could at least see that I am getting some steps every day.  It turns out that I'm getting a lot more steps than I realized, and that I regularly get close to if not more than 10,000 steps in a busy day. 

That gives me a lot of comfort, even when the scale is telling me I'm not even close to rebounding.  But my still feeling blah and flabby says that I should at least start by working on portion sizes a bit more and cleaning up what I'm eating.  However, that doesn't help with muscle tone, which is desperately in need of help after so many weeks of sleeping and sitting through chemo (and, yes, I'm aware that chemo is really rough and whatever I did was all I could at the time, but that still doesn't fix the fitness conundrum as things stand now). 

Walking is great, but it can't fix everything -- and heaven knows I have a lot that needs fixing right now.

I could use some advice from folks who have been through this.  How did your skin rebound (or did it?) from radiation burning and blistering?  What helped most with this for you?  Were you able to work fitness back into your life without making things worse?  If so, how?

I'm going to ask at my doctor's office today, too, when I go for my next round of radiation.  But I thought throwing this question out into the void might be useful, too.  If you have thoughts or advice, I'd love to hear it.

Walk This Way?

This morning, because I finally felt like a little movement, The Peanut and I walked over to school so that she could start her day with a nice walk...and so could I.

Exercise has been a bit of a conundrum for me the last couple of weeks.  I've been told movement is good, but not to overdo it.  When I feel like resting, I am to rest, because my body probably needs it.

But make sure you get some regular exercise.

Unless, of course, you feel like you need rest.

Arrrrrgh.  So confusing.  Sitting still all the time, though, makes me feel even more lethargic and blah, so I have decided for my own sanity and well-being that some form of daily exercise -- even when I feel like crapola -- needs to be part of my day to day.

Smoothing Out The Rougher Edges

Putting the whole of life into some sort of perspective can be really useful in terms of figuring out where the pieces may not be working well.  It can also be maddening, trying to rearrange things so that everything falls smoothly into place.

Sometimes, I suppose, there needs to be a little friction in order to smooth out a rough edge or two.  But that doesn't make it easy, does it?

One of the constants in my life of late has been the need to get my act together in terms of the day to day necessities:  better, healthier diet; more regular and productive exercise; daily cleaning maintenance, even on days when I am utterly exhausted.  Doing all of this, even just to a tiny extent, would make a big difference in how things feel and work.  At least I think it would.

But when you are worn out and frazzled and past the point of thinking in the long term, doing even a little bit can certainly feel like you are attempting to summit Mt. Everest in a blizzard.

So how do you keep going in spite of that and do the things that need to be done -- not for others, but for yourself?  That is the question that I need to answer.

Ideas For Dressing Your Shape And (Changing?) Size

Visit the Life Well Lived sweepstakes page and you could win an iPod Touch and a $50  iTunes gift certificate!

We have been eating much more healthfully at our house for about a month now. We were eating pretty well before that, but we've consciously eaten only lean proteins and veggies and only whole grains and absolutely no processed crapola (with the exception of a single cupcake each for our nephews birthday).  Thank you cleaner eating!

You can tell it makes a difference by the looseness of the waistband on my jeans.

The great thing about dropping a size is that you feel better -- physically and emotionally in my case, because I was beginning to really loathe how much weight I had gained and was beating myself up for it a little too often.  I'm not after some number on the scale at the moment, but I'm definitely working on getting back to a healthy, happy point wherever that happens to be at my age.

That said, now I'm dealing with a problem I hadn't ever thought would be a problem:  half my clothes are too big and now hang weirdly, especially pants and skirts.  But I'm not remotely close to where I hope I will be in the next few months, either, which makes me question whether it is worth it to get a lot of my clothes tailored now. 

Maegan Tintari has some great tips on how to deal with this sort of thing.  While I'm not ready to go out and pick up a caftan, I really love the boyfriend jeans pictured in her post and am going to have to give those a try, I think.  I could make that work on a short and curvy frame, right?

Because I've lost a little weight -- actually I'm down a size, woo hoo! -- I've been thinking about how to manage the clothing transition a lot, and here are a few ideas that have been working for me of late:

A Bit Of Inspiration

Yesterday, my copy of The Best of Clean Eating 2: Over 200 Recipes with Cleaned-Up Comfort Foods and Fast Family Dinners showed up.

The recipes in it are awesome -- full of healthy, vibrant, nutrient-dense yumminess.  I've already flagged half a dozen with post-it flags that we'll be trying over the next couple of weeks and I'm only on the third section. 

This one may be better than their first cookbook, The Best of Clean Eating: Over 200 Mouthwatering Recipes to Keep You Lean and Healthy, and I cook out of it all the time. 

But yesterday, as I sat in the alley behind my daughter's school waiting for pick-up time, I was struck by a moment of clarity: it isn't enough just to look at the pretty pictures or like the recipes or just want to be healthier in some vague, abstract, longing sort of way.  Even though that is completely and totally my M.O.

You have to live healthier, do things healthier, really buy in and dig deep and do what you need to do -- ALL of what you need to do -- to get yourself there.

It isn't enough just to know what you should be doing, you have to actually DO it.  Every day.  Which is a problem for me, based on my couch-potato-esque workout wanna be self at the moment.  I want the health and vitality that comes with living a healthier life, with doing the exercises, with eating healthy and clean every single mouthful. 

I just haven't been able to get there...one excuse at a time.

When I got back home, in a moment of serendipity, I ran across the above YouTube. Watch it.  It is brilliant. And spot on for me.

I'll admit to having used at least 20 of these excuses (at the very least) to not go for a walk or lift weights.  Or to eat that chip (and then several handfuls of its closest chip buddies).  Or that cookie.  Or...honestly, name yer poison, even if I know better, I'm still reaching for it out of habit, out of comfort, out of stress or boredom or whatever other excuse I can wrangle for the salty, fatty, goodie to make its way toward my gut.

And it shows.

No more. Do you hear me?  No more.

Lighten Up?

After 6+ weeks of the new Weight Watchers "points plus" plan, I'm down a whopping 3 pounds.

Whoooooooo, hold the phone!

In fairness, I had already begun eating more healthfully for 2 months prior to beginning Weight Watchers this time.  And, due to all the work getting the library ready to go, I'd been doing some pretty intense physical exercise as well (do you have any idea how heavy solid steel shelving gets after you've lugged it up two full flights of stairs?).

But three pounds??!!!???  Yikes!

Granted, during the last few weeks we flew out to AZ for a lengthy "vacation" visiting family, during which there was a wedding, a funeral and much babysitting...and not a lot of time for exercise and food planning at the level I usually do.  And because of the lengthy heat wave here, exercise for me has been spotty at best, since my joints tend to freeze up in hot, humid weather.

But, excuses aside, I'm going to sit down today and figure out how to tweak my eating.  I have stayed within my points totals every day, and I'm using fewer and fewer floating points, and yet the scale is still not budging as much as I would like.

Methinks, it is time to add in more activity, while tightening what I'm eating.  In other words, less of the stuff I love (fruit, whole grain carbs, etc.) and more of the stuff I really ought to be eating anyway (veggies, veggies, veggies).

So for at least part of today I'll be doing some menu planning with my Clean Eating, Eating For Life, and Weight Watchers cookbooks at the ready.  There has to be some way to make this work for me.

Restoration, Life and Lupus

I am tired of always being tired.  Can I just say that out loud?

We just got back from what should have been a vacation, but instead just wore me out.  I had trouble adjusting tot he time change this trip, spent a lot of the time waking up at 5 am in Phoenix (which was 8 am back home in WV, so my body was convinced it was logical), and as a result am just exhausted right now.

Throw in what appears to be a cold caught on the airplane and the usual lupus issues from travel and I'm pretty much useless today.

So I'm going to take it easy.  Again.

And that is where the problem comes in:  I have been doing that a lot of late.  I don't whether it is the heat and humidity this summer, or my increasing age, or what, but life is kicking my ass and I would love to know what I can do to make it stop.

Better diet?  I'm actually eating better lately, including lots more fruits and veggies, thanks to beginning the new Weight Watchers Points Plus plan a few weeks ago.  But there's always room for improvement, right?  So I'll try to be conscious of that going forward and do better where I can.

Running To Stand Still?

I've been back on the Weight Watchers kick for the last two weeks...and the depressing news is that I have not lost one pound.

The good news is that we are eating much healthier and that I'm feeling good about it, even if the pounds are not melting off like the last time.

Since this is most likely due to the fact that I learned my eating lessons last year and have been making better food and portion choices overall since last summer's class, it is probably a net win overall.  And, honestly?  I find the new "Points Plus" program a little confusing in terms of the points changes and shift in emphasis from one food to the next, but I'm working on it and we'll see where this goes.

I could stand to see the scale move even a little in the downward direction.  You know, just in case someone in the universe is in wish-granting mode.

I know that what I really need is to kick my lazy behind into gear and get some daily exercise.  But, honestly, I wore myself out doing most of the initial library push this year, and my muscles and joints are still unhappy with me at the moment.  Since they are re-doing floors at school and I haven't been able to get in the building to work, I've been trying to give myself a break.

But I think that taking a break may have been the wrong strategy because my body was starting to adjust to daily activity.  How can you know?

Artist's Way Seminar: After The First Day

It's the morning after the first day of the Artist's Way seminar, and I'm exhausted, but having a lot of fun as well.

Yesterday, I started the day with a great breakfast of steel cut oats, fortified with a little yogurt, some walnuts and a little maple syrup and cinnamon.   Yum.  Let me say that again -- yummmmmmmm.  I also had a couple of boiled eggs and some stewed apple slices.

As I was enjoying the meal, I sat at the table thinking "Why don't I eat this way all the time at home?" 

There is no good answer for that, because I really could eat this way at home more often.

So I hereby vow to try and do so.  Because eating healthy food makes me feel so much better than eating crap.  ("Duh, Christy, how many times do you need to learn this lesson?" you ask me.  "As many times as it takes to learn it," I reply.)

Exploring The Wonders In Our Own Back Yard

I have a goal for my family in the coming weeks and months:  this year, we will explore the wonders in our own back yard a little more, and learn to appreciate nature and quiet pleasures.

Because vacations and down time cannot always be about spending scads of money on a huge trip to some distant place, now can it?

And nature?  That can be enjoyed pretty much any time, anywhere, for not very much moolah where we live in WV.  That's a valuable lesson to teach The Peanut.

Plus, it's far more relaxing on so many levels to just enjoy a nice walk in the country not too far from home than it is to have to drive or fly forever to rush to a destination, only to have to rush right back home again after another long, stress-filled, tiring drive or flight. 

I could use a little more of the former this year, frankly, after the insanity of the last year or so in our family.

So, I have started compiling a list of a few things we can do within a few hours drive of our house.  And, lo and behold, it's not only fun-filled, but it is also pretty substantial.  Near us, we have several state parks with some lovely trail areas, a national forest area, a really cool mountain ecosystem area that is packed with unique flora and fauna, lots of "rails to trails" hiking opportunities, and lots, lots more for us to do within a very easy drive of our house.

Monday Clear The Clutter Club Check-In

It's early Monday.  And it feels like it here.

Not enough coffee in the entire world to wake me up this morning, I'm afraid.  I blame it on too many episodes of Battlestar Galactica last night.  (No idea how we missed this show the first time around, but it's addictive.)

This week?  The health eating has continued, and we are moving away from Phase One of the South Beach Diet to a quasi-Phase 2 eating style that I hope will become just the way we eat from now on:  healthy whole foods, whole grains, lots of veggies, some fruit, lean proteins, and even more veggies.

Spent part of the weekend going back through some of my healthier cookbook faves:

-- The Eat-Clean Diet Cookbook: Great-Tasting Recipes That Keep You Lean

-- The Best of Clean Eating: Over 200 Mouthwatering Recipes to Keep You Lean and Healthy

-- Eating For Life

-- Mediterranean Light: Delicious Recipes from the World's Healthiest Cuisine

-- Cooking Light Fresh Food Fast: Over 280 Incredibly Flavorful 5-Ingredient 15-Minute Recipes

I have several more that I like as well, but you get the idea:  healthy, whole foods in correct portion sizes that I cook from scratch.

Hobbling To The Resolution Starting Line

It's time to put all those resolutions into action, gang.

Although I could not have timed my 2nd degree burn any more poorly, I refuse to allow my current state of mobility limitations to prevent me from moving forward on my plans.

Sometimes life throws you a curveball.  The trick for me is figuring out how to move past it without sabotaging my own plans for better health.

And so?  Today will mean that I clean out our fridge so that we can start off Monday with a fresh and healthy set of choices.

Sure, I'll be cleaning things out while sitting on a chair, and Mr. ReddHedd is going to have to help me -- and go shopping for me -- but we will make do.  Then I'll spend some time, still sitting on a kitchen stool, prepping snacks and some other food for tomorrow.

And hopefully, if I can keep moving forward today -- which isn't a given since I've been needing naps as my scalded leg heals -- I'll try to post what my menu plans are for the week.

You Say You Want A Resolution?

'Tis the season for resolutions at year's end. Which, if you are like me, have already been broken and stomped into the dust by mid-February.

This year, though?  I'm vowing to do things differently.  And as I said last week, I'd love it if you all joined in as well because I think there is definite strength in numbers on something like this.

I've been working on an actual, definable plan, with realistic goals that can be worked toward on a week by week basis instead of coming up with meaningless, blobby goals that only sound good in the abstract.  It's the difference between:

"lose some weight"

and

"lose at least 1 pound per week through exercise -- 5 days per week at a minimum -- and following a diet plan that is akin to South Beach diet's good carbs in moderation/healthy proteins/lots of veggies and Clean Eating and Eating For Life's healthier lifestyle choices at every meal, until I reach my goal weight of 140 pounds,"

which is to say there is a huge difference in planning, accountability and execution.  I'm including a requirement for blocking off time each week for meal planning, for going over what worked and what didn't, and for planning my workouts as well.

Because for me?  Having a roadmap to success makes the whole thing easier.  But forcing myself to be accountable for following it?  Makes a world of difference.

Introspection At Year's End: An Invitation

It is unavoidable at our house.  At the close of every year, it seems we always end up taking stock of how things went, and how we can act to change things so that the upcoming year could go better.

And every year?

I seem to end up with the same set of regrets and wishes because my behavioral changes stretch forward only so far and then...whammo!...life gets in the way and I revert back to my comfort level or whatever is absolutely necessary to survive the illness/crazyness/loss/etc. and whatever progress had been made gets erased.

There is just something about the ending of a year and the beginning of a new one that makes introspection necessary, and yet painful, as you examine how things went as compared to how you actually wanted them to go.

How do I change my pattern so that this year I step out of that box entirely and into a new and better one of my own making?  Ahhhh, that's the million dollar question, isn't it?

Let's start with a profoundly true quote which is often attributed to Mark Twain (although I have yet to find it's original source, so take that attribution with a grain of salt until I do):

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”

The fact that I got sidetracked from writing this article for about an hour trying to track down the sourcing on the Mark Twain quote is a good example of how things go with me these days.  Tangents instead of straight lines toward my goals -- my life in a nutshell.

Perspective

Sometimes, a shift in perspectives can be a useful tool in sorting out what is right in front of you the whole time.

Take my writing issues of late:  I've been expecting perfection to come spewing out of my fingers when I sit down to write, and perfection in the environment around me to get into writing mode.

Honestly, how often do I think that is ever going to happen?  Especially with a 7 year old and two needy dogs in the house?

And so, beginning today, my perspective is going to shift and the writing will be what gets squeezed out when it can be, where I can find the time, and whenever possible.  If I'm getting some done, that's better than nothing, and I can rely on a good edit as I go along to get it into the shape I want before it heads out the door.

It is never going to be perfect.  But it can still be good, right? 

A Piece Of Handy Advice...

When it is hot and muggy outside?  Especially when you know it is going to heat up as the day moves forward?

Go for your walk first thing in the morning.

Don't wait.

Trust me on this one.

Common sense meet too many things on the "to do" list.  A mistake that I will not make again anytime soon, I suspect. 

Now where is that ice water?

(Photo via sm3287.)

Crossing The Bridge

I recently read a quote from Gen. George F. Patton that really hit home:

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

Patton was not only a general during WWII and beyond, but he was also a former Olympian.   Pretty impressive stuff, frankly, when you start looking at his competitive record.

Yesterday, I started walking regularly again.

The mornings have finally cooled off enough that walking outside is possible for me -- thank goodness, because the heat has been unbearable this summer and I've been going stir crazy.

Morning Momma Coffee Talk

School starts here in two days. 

Is it wrong for me to be so excited about having a few hours of peace and quiet around the house that I feel like dancing around like a whirling dervish?

Don't get me wrong, I love my child.  Adore her.  But peace and quiet is a valuable commodity in the morning at this house -- The Peanut wakes up pretty much every day as her same little chirpy, happy, perky, chatty self.  The dogs want to pile on top of me and get scratches and contact.

And all I want is my first cuppa coffee and some blissful quiet in which to sip it.  Which I rarely get in the summer due to the aforementioned chirpiness and doggie jostling for space on my lap.

As Mr. ReddHedd says, "When they all stop wanting to be on top of you first thing in the morning, you'll miss it terribly."

Connecting The Disperate Dots

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about health -- mine, my family's, how to make us healthier and sustain that into the future.

It's a by-product of hitting that stage in life where things begin to creak and groan on your body when you've overused them.  Or even just used them a teensy bit more than usual.

Amazing how just a year or two can make a humongous difference in how well you do or do not snap back after exertion, isn't it?

But it also stems from watching parents and other elderly folks in our lives go through a lot of difficulties that are, frankly, rather self-inflicted due to poor diet, lack of exercise, and outright neglect, even in the face of a specific diagnosis and a mapped out set of changes needed to combat whatever health challenge has cropped up.

The fact that I recognize some of my own poor behaviors and resistant idiocies in the behavior of others is disconcerting enough.

But if I know better?  If I have the intellectual understanding of exactly what I am doing to myself long-term by eating badly or not getting nearly enough exercise or whatever else I may need to do that I am decidedly not doing nearly often enough?

That's just suicide by time, isn't it?

Fighting Inertia

Lately, the weather has been hot.  As in HAWT hot.

With temperatures in the mid to upper 90s and humidity out the wazoo, the morning walks that The Peanut and I had been taking?  Not really happening.

Even the dogs look miserable when they visit the yard, so you know it's disgusting out there.

We've been waking up to temperatures already in the upper 70s and rising quickly, and that does not play well with my lupus.  I'm achy, in the middle of a low-grade flare, and feeling hugely full of fluid as I slosh around the house.

Ugh.

All that work to get healthier?  And it gets sidetracked by hot weather and crappy joints.

So, the question is:  what can I do to keep the momentum going instead of backsliding?  We're still eating relatively well -- although I could certainly tweak that a bit -- but the exercise portion of my program has fallen by the wayside.

But it occurred to me this week that we have our Wii Fit.  And access to streaming Netflix videos via our TIVO.  And so?  I have no excuses.