Thursday, January 13, 2011

Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me

Having one of those days when this particular Linda Ronstadt classic applies.

Before someone asks, my leg burn -- which has a surface area that's a little larger than an 8x10 bandage -- just isn't healing quickly enough for the rest of me.  And I've developed an itchy skin aversion to the one type of flexible foam tape that holds the bandages firmly over the wound area mostly because when I take them off to change the bandage, it rips the skin off my leg.  But I'm not able to go unbandaged as yet because the burn area is still to tender and raw.  I've tried other tape, other bandaging methods and just a pain gauze wrap, all to no avail.  And so?  I'm back to the painful, itchy tape again today.

The kitchen is a mess, the clutter is breeding in dark corners and on flat surfaces around the house, it's another snow day today so there is no quiet time for momma to be found, and I just spent 10 minutes on the bed upstairs having a big, snuffly, baby-like cry -- the first weepy moment since the day I got burned, actually, which says my stoic resolve is cracking quickly.

Let's just say I'm having trouble finding acceptance and patience today.  And then some.

Plus, I got dog poop stuck to the bottom of one of my warm, cozy house slippers, and then proceeded to track it around the living room carpet because I didn't realize I'd stepped in something icky.  So now I need to clean carpet and my slippers before I can wear them again on top of everything else.

Is this a Calgon take me away day, or what?  Except  I can't sit in the tub and sock because I risk re-infecting my not quite healed burn until it completely covers itself with a new layer of skin.  Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!  I've worked very hard to be an independent, take care of herself and take charge sort of woman my whole life.  But today?  I want someone else to take care of everything and am craving some serious pampering.  SIGH  I hate it when I feel like this, it feels self-indulgent and selfish, but there you are -- it's exactly how I feel, and I'm tired of slogging forward and making the best of it and all that rot, the burn sucks and its draining all the joy out of my existence trying to do less and let it heal.

Please send cheery thoughts for more speedy healing before I lose my mind entirely.

And enjoy the song -- her voice rocks.


Christy Hardin Smith said...

Having gotten the dishes partially caught up now, and realizing that we have leftover enchilada casserole from yesterday for dinner so I don't have to cook? Am feeling a little better.

A nice reminder that everything doesn't have to be done at once, but that a small step can sometimes feel so much larger on a day like today.

Suzanne said...

(((christy))) days when ya find dog poop stuck unbeknownst to one's slipper are the worst. toss in being snow bound and its a pretty crappy day. i'm so sorry that today was that day.

i hope tomorrow is a better day -- and a reminder that you are now one day closer to being able to take that calgon take me away bath.