Falling Forward

It is that time of year when the leaves have turned past their peak color, and the trees are rapidly shedding their colorful cloaks in favor of the bare branches of winter.  There are still spots of brilliance on the hillsides around town, but they are becoming more sparse as the days wend their way forward to the ice and snow days to come.

This year, more than any other in recent memory, I am feeling adrift. 

Almost as though I were a leaf floating free from the tree, billowing back and forth and buffeted by the wind, not knowing where the ultimate landing spot will be.  All I know is that doing the same things, day in and day out, is dragging me down and wearing me out.  What I need is a new goal to meet and overcome, something that challenges me to do better, be better.

But what?

Whether this is an effect of coming out of the throes of cancer treatment or some larger metaphysical, internal debate, I do not know.  What I do know is that this sort of floating dissatisfaction often leads to a radical change from the inside out.

The question this time is in what form this one will take hold.

It isn't enough to do the same things, day in and day out.  At least it isn't enough any longer.  Based on this itching level of dissatisfaction and chafing at my day to day routines, I am feeling the need to stretch and grow.

What that means is anyone's guess at this point, but it does make for interesting internal times trying to figure it out, doesn't it?  


Buckle up.  The ride could get a little bumpy going forward.  But that can be a good thing, can't it?

(Photo via Andrew Dallos.)