Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Evil Fiend Next Door

Dear Evil Fiend From The Woods Next Door:

Please stop raiding my bird feeders and generally wreaking havoc upon my poor nerves.  Your antics are not appreciated.

You are to cease and desist the following behavior:

(1) climbing up the pole of our bird feeder all the way to the top, removing the lid, and hanging down into the seed cylinder by your back paws while using your front paws to gobble up the contents as rapidly as you can shove them in your mouth, and then crawling back out again and using said front paws to wave frantically at me while I stood, barking, at the window, generally causing a giant uproar. 

(2)  trying to unscrew the tops of the smaller, so-called "squirrel proof" feeders that the mother human purchased specifically to thwart your fiendish ilk.  You are knocking seeds to the ground left and right out of them, and I have seen you stuffing your fat, furry faces with them over and over again, causing me to again lose my cool and bark like a foaming mad dog of fury.

(3) climbing up the side of the house, and then peeking in at the windows to see if I was still there, realizing that I cannot get outside the windows, and then staying right in my face until my humans had to come over to the window and scare you off, while laughing so hard they nearly choked.  Oh, the shame.

While hilarity within the household for my humans might have occurred, I was humiliated and made to feel helpless because said humans would not allow me to go outside and thrash you as I so clearly wanted to do.

I will get you squirrel.  You mark my words, I will get you.

Most fiercely,

The Vigilant Westie, Roxie
henceforth to be guarding the sun room windows near the large bird feeder with a fervor unequalled in the whole of the history of dog-dom, because I will get you...

(Photo via Airwolfhound.)

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