Monday, May 13, 2013

My Girlie Brain Disconnect

Right now, I am facing down the prospect of beginning chemotherapy next week, with all of its nasty side effects and potential hazards and pitfalls staring me right in the face.  And what am I worrying about this morning, you ask?

Whether I should order some Spanx for an upcoming event that I will be attending.

I got a Spanx catalog in the mail, and looking at it has me obsessing about my muffin top in a formal gown.  And how high of a higher power I need to suck it in so I'll look sleek in my dress.

As if that matters right now, right?  Yet here I am, stuck in girlie brain mode, obsessing about my faults, worrying about things like wigs and all the other superficial nonsense because that is my girlie brain default mode.

Internally, I know that none of this matters.  But somewhere, deep down, a little voice is telling me that I should order two pairs of Spanx and double up for more holding power.

Why do we do this to ourselves, ladies?  Honestly, why???!!!???

There is a scene in Eat Pray Love that is pitch perfect on this issue.  Julia Roberts' character, Liz, is chowing down on some pizza margherita in Napoli, and her Swedish friend is trying not to eat because she's developing a muffin top from all the delicious food in Italy.  And Liz says to her:

Liz:  In all the years you've undressed in front of a gentleman...has he ever asked you to leave [because of your muffin top]?  Has he ever walked out?  Left?

Sophie:  No.

Liz:  Because he doesn't care.  He's in a room with a naked girl, he's won the lottery.  I'm so tired of saying no and waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consumed so I know exactly how much self-loathing to take into the shower....I have no interest in being obese, I'm just through with the guilt.

I wish that I could say that I'm there, but I'm not even close as the Spanx catalog has amply demonstrated to me this morning.

What I need is a girlie brain disconnect.

Or less of a need for comfort food.  Because watching this scene from Eat Pray Love is making me hungry for pizza:

(Photo via roboppy.  Now that is a lovely muffin top...)

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