Thursday, December 6, 2012

Treading Water

Lately, it feels as though most of my life consists of treading water -- furiously fevered paddling just to attempt to stay afloat, but not really getting anywhere despite the massive amount of effort put into everything.

Other moms out there have to understand this, right?  All the running around to this, that or the other activity, especially this time of year when choir and other performance stuff kicks into super high gear and family expectations skyrocket.  I feel like the bulk of my life is spent either getting into my car or getting out of it these days, as I've zipped from one thing to the next without much downtime in between.

I realized how hectic things have gotten yesterday when I managed to cobble together 45 minutes of reading while everyone else was out of the house and not calling me on the phone...and it was lovely.

What I really need to do today is tackle a bazillion things around the house that desperately need to be done, organized or any number of other nitpicky little detail jobs that  would just plain and simple make my house less chaotic.  You know, stuff like cleaning out the medicine cabinet and then putting the various and sundry random things taking up counter space into the cabinet and out of the way...the little things that add up to so much more space and so much less chaos.

But mentally?  What I really want is to curl up with my book and do nothing all day long but lose myself in its pages.  A mental health day, if you will, from being all things to all people alla time, as it sometimes feels like being the "mom" requires me to be.

But the thing is, life doesn't take a break just because you need one.

The Peanut has two different choir practices this afternoon, dishes need to be done because they piled up last night and none of us felt like dealing with them when we were so tired yesterday evening, and so on and so on and so keeps moving forward and requiring basic maintenance whether you feel like doing it or not.

Being overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things that need to be done is not helpful for me, though.  I freeze, and then nothing gets done, and that is not helpful at all.

So today?  I'm going to try to stop treading water.  Baby steps, though -- tackle little things, one at a time, and see how they add up to something bigger by the end of the day.  It will have to be done in between running here, there and everywhere, but I will figure it out somehow.

In the meantime?  I'm going to give myself an hour with my book and another cuppa coffee before entering the fray.  It may not be the whole day, but it is something.  And I'll savor it while it lasts.

Sometimes, that's enough.

(Photo via kelpenhagen.)

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