Thursday, November 29, 2012

To Cookie Or Not To Cookie?

Our Christmas cookie tradition began years ago, when I had a lot more time and energy to spare and a lot of motivation to get the baking done.  This may very well be the first year that the cookies don't get made, and I'm having a mental tug of war about it.

The year that Mr. ReddHedd and I married, we were still in law school and were pretty much scraping the bottom of the budget barrel every single month just to pay bills, feed ourselves, afford gas to drive to and from classes and also pay our tuition and book bills to finish school.  So our first Christmas, money for presents for family and friends was scarce, and I stumbled across a baking supplies sale at a grocery store that happened to be going out of business at just the right time.

Thus, the annual Christmas cookie-palooza from us to everyone we know was born.  Thank you cheap bags of flour, sugar and various and sundry other yummy goodnesses.

This year, however, we are juggling three choir performances, a Christmas play and who knows what else just for The Peanut's schedule alone.  Mr. ReddHedd is super busy, and I am, quite honestly, more exhausted than I have been in a long time -- no amount of sleep that I am getting lately is making a dent in the exhaustion level, and the last thing I need is to stay up into the wee hours covered in flour and icing two-bite brownies.

And yet?  I feel massive guilt for thinking about not doing this. 

Because it is what I do every year.  People love it.  People expect it.  And I am, if nothing else, a rampant people pleaser.

In the interest of a more sane and manageable Christmas this year, the cookies may have to go by the wayside, with the exception of a few, small batches for home consumption.  (The Peanut, after all, ought to have cookies for Santa that include homemade snickerdoodles, right?)  We will all benefit from a less tired and crabby momma if I don't practically kill myself baking, and will especially benefit from the vastly lower amount of not good for us sugary crapola strewn all over the house.

But that doesn't mean that some part of me isn't feeling a bit sad and guilty for thinking about not doing this.  Anyone else have these sorts of issues?  "To cookie or not to cookie?" -- that is the question this year.

(Photo by Christy Hardin Smith.)

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